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Honoring the First Year of Grief

Honoring the First Year of Grief

Marking the Moment

A man who was an only child buried his mom, who had raised him as a single mom. After the funeral and shiva (first 7 days of mourning after burial), we took the traditional walk around the block while we discussed what Judaism teaches about the soul after one dies and what it will mean to integrate back into his life after this intense period. On day 30 (a traditional moment to mark called “sheloshim”), we gathered friends and family on Zoom to elevate his mom’s memory through studying a Jewish text selected to honor this special woman.  We then looked at the calendar and found which dates (birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc.) would be particularly challenging to mark in the first year, and we scheduled meetings two weeks before each important date. During these meetings, we discussed themes of upcoming holidays to help him frame his grief in new ways and approach these hard days with intention and inner strength. The ritual of the unveiling felt like a fitting way to end the first year of walking the mourner’s path.

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